Four Questions for Robin...

Okay, most of you know YellowDogGranny (if ya don't, ya should...) The wench threw down the gauntlet from the "intenseguy" blog and to play, she sent me four questions that I have to answer, honestly. So, here goes!

#1. If you could move to any place in the world and have any job where would it be, and what would you do?

England: Queen.
Who wouldn't? Well, I'm sure when America becomes a monarchy, and the monarchy becomes an elected office....I'm a shoo-in. I think a court jester in the 1700's would be cool as well. A Whore in Babylon...not so much....soooo, in all honesty?

Writer, outer banks in N. Carolina...a small house that the back porch faces a tidal creek with a dock. I would write southern novels that would make Pat Conroy cry and Dottie Frank mix a mint julep.

#2. You've just won the lottery and the prize is $150,000. You can get it all in one lump sum, but you have to donate half of it to charity's...which ones would they be?

$20,000 to the ASPCA. I find I love dogs quite a bit more than I do a lot of people. I think dogs are the perfect beings...and I bet if a UFO was watching our planet...and watching me throw the Frisbee incessantly, follow behind my Bella and pick up her poop...they would also agree that dogs are in charge. That unconditional love is unbeatable, and dogs without a human to adore (not to mention food, water, and shelter) just break my heart...so they get a bunch.

$20,000 to a fund an organization I'm setting up to beat idiocy. It involves meditation, actual reading of books without the "movie" version to screw it up, interaction with people of other races and cultures and sexual orientation, poetry slams could be involved...skinny people may have to wear fat suits, white people may have to go in to the public as black or brown ones, black people may have to go out as white, fat, women. Big time CEO's will have to budget their meager salary and have to actually work, inner city kids will have a chance to ride tractors and help feed the world and rural children will walk the streets of cities and soak up culture and artisty things.

$20,000 to a Single Mom Relief fund, perhaps in a scholarship capacity, maybe dedicated to day care (that's crazy expensive!) When K and I lived together we both worked part time and went to school full time and juggled our schedules so that we wouldn't have to put the girls in day care...it was tough. We scraped money out from under the couch cushions once to buy a pack of generic cigarettes (which we smoke OUTSIDE, thank you! The pack lasted a week!)...always made sure the girls had meat in their supper, and we ate Ramen. Keep in mind, my part in this was only about a year or so...but K did it for a long time...and raised amazing young women...with very little help. So yeah, a day care fund so young single mother's can further their education, that's cool...thanks for the money Jackie!

Okay, that's $60,000 and I have 15 leftover. $5,000 goes to my business's "Hire a Truck Driver" fund so that I can quit and work on the novels that are going to get me back to question one! $5,000 goes to the Robin Defense Fund; because it's entirely possible that I will twist off and hurt someone if I don't get some help...or get over the PMS! Criminal attorney's are expensive.

The other $5,000 goes to the TRAVIS ERWIN FUND, so that he can take some time off of his job and rebuilding his and his families life and abode, and continue to create great blogs, and great novels, for our enjoyment...hang in there Trav! (And your so welcome for this fictional money Jackie bestowed upon me!)

#3. You have been asked to sing on American Idol...what song would you sing? Who would you like to sound like when you sing?

No...and no! I have been drunk enough to sing karaoke...and very, very badly! I'm quite sure if they ever asked me to sing on American Idol, it would be week one where I would be in the running for the worst audition!

Honestly? (Jackie said I had to be honest!) I would do "Left in the Dark" by Barbra Streisand. Who wouldn't like to sound like Barbra? Who could?

Other than that I'd so do Yanni...don't have to sing with Yanni!

I do love "My Generation" by Todd Snyder....it's too true...my generation sucks!

#4: You have been offered a million dollars to write your life story, will you tell the truth or will you lie about the parts that are embarrassing and ugly?

I will take the mil and lie like a dog. I mean, c'mon on! Kind of mainstream right here! And if anyone wants my life story, and will pay big bucks for it...you can bet your ass I'm going to fill it full of sex and drugs and wild nights...none of it true but the true facts of my life probably would't make it into "Readers Digest"!
And I tell you guys all the embarrassing stories of my life anyway!

But now that I think about it? There are things that I would hate to admit, dredge up and face that I could/would conveniently edit out. Not sex, drugs and rock and roll...but willfully careless of other's feelings, and transient in other's salient moments. I have taken other's for granted and been careless with their hearts....damn you Jackie for throwing the honesty shit at me!

So, I suppose I would attempt to write my life story honestly, but honesty is subjective and we all have a defense mechanism to try and portray ourselves as a bit more magnanimous than we are? I have a theory...none of us have the ability to see ourselves three-dimensionally, as others do (even on film)...I see my SE, my Mom, my best friend...I see them as they can't see themselves visually. I see a photo of myself and I'm shocked...I look like that? (uck!), I see a video and the back of my hair always looks like shit! I think that's true in how we look at ourselves in general. Unless we REALLY look. And when I look at myself, underneath my comedic routine and flippant, sarcastic demeanor, there's probably some things I don't necessarily like...and could work on. But all in all? I'm an okay chic!

Thanks for that Jackie/YellowDogGranny. If you want to play this interview game (you saw whatt it did to me!)http://yellowdoggrannie.blogspot.com/ email me or Jackie it's kinda cool! Or "IntenseGuy.blogspot.com", or here's the kicker, if I understand it right, since I played, email ME and I GET TO SEND YOU FOUR QUESTIONS and you post your answers and then you get to inflict this pain on others! Someone has got to give me the chance to inflict this upon others!

Have a great week!