Okay, I used to be a nice girl and believed the "best" in everyone...and was seriously considering law school when the whole "McDonalds Coffee" thing won some butthead a ton of money...excuse me? She wasn't warned the coffee was hot? Sounds to me like she'd of sue'd if the coffee was cold. And then there was the homeless guy who wondered into the rotunda of the capital in Albany, NY, he developed a cold from the draftiness of the old building, sued the state...and won. Is it any wonder the disclaimers are running amok towards the ridiculous?
For example: an advertisement for Ambien, a sleep aide, "caution: may cause dizziness, headaches...and (yes)...drowsiness. You've got to be kidding?! A sleep aide that cause "drowsiness"?! What will they think of next? Ex Lax that causes diahrreah?!
I especially love the ones that say..."so and so has been known to, in rare cases cause severe side effects, including death..." Oopsie, thanks for throwing that one in! I was seriously thinking about ordering an exericise machine until I heard, "before beginning any exericse regimen...please consult your doctor." Hell, I was all up for three easy payments of $29.95 and now you want me to pay $60.00 to doc before I order? Forget it.
It's ridiculous isn't it? I mean, I have a "beware of dog" sign up on my drive. I mean, I do have a doberman but generally, you have to wake her up to get her excited enough to bark, and then generally, you need to have a hunk of beef in her view....but I was told I needed that disclaimer...if someone tried to rob me, and I hadn't warned them about Bella, and she bit them...I could be sued for injuries. BUT: If I had signs posted and they robbed me and she roused hersself long enough to scare them, possibly nip them...then I was good to go.
Not entirely true...my homeowners insurance agent told me I had to hide Bella while she took pictures of my property to insure me and if any adjustor came out, I had to take Bella to her house...Bella doesn't exist...
Saw a bumper sticker, that in my opinion could offend pretty much everyone and cover the gamut of bumper stickers: NUKE GAY BABY WHALES FOR CHRIST. Okay, who's not pissy about that one? Here's my disclaimer:
This post is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Removal of this tag by any other than the consumer is punishable by law (the pillow brigade?); Some assembly required, Not recommended for children under 5, Until you know how you will react to ****, do not drive or operate heavy machinery, In rare cases, stroke or even death has occured, but this is great stuff, please talk to your doctor about @#@*@$#>. Also, This supercedes all previous posts. This post does not reflect the views of this station or any of it's subsidiaries. People with heart conditions should not ride this ride. Some material may be unsuitable for children. Caution: has small parts that my cause death in small children...just so you know...in case you're smokin' some crack and miss the infant placing small parts in her mouth and she croaks...it's on your ass!
I agree. When are people going to take responsibility for their own durn actions and quit saying "Gee whiz...I had not idea that coffee was hot or that I shouldn't drive, crash and kill 3 people while on ambien!" and then be rewarded with millions of dollars...it's nuts it's crazy and here is my disclaimer...
Everything in this message is insane and my name is Sybil...and I approve this message.
HAPPY 5TH ANNIVERSARY TO ME
12 minutes ago
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8 comments:
I thought your name was Robin.
Either way, well said. Not to get you enough more worked up, but I'm fat and I'm gonna sue McDonalds tomorrow for selling fattening food (I know, not original, but this one really gets me pissed).
Tomorrow, can you post about Political Correctness. I hate that shit, too.
By the way, that bumper sticker is kinda funny.
SL
My favorite medical side affect was the one that said may cause gambling urges. I think someone slipped me that drug years ago.
I blogged about it a year or so back
Geez...
You forgot to tell me that if I take my computer in to the jacuzzi to read your post that I could get shocked or ELECTROCUTED DEAD DEAD DEAD!! Whatsamattah wit ya!
I'm gonna sue the state Of Iowa. They sued the Big Tobacco Companies for money to pay smoker's health care and guess what? They're using that money for other shit! What is UP with that SHIT?!? I'm going to sue them because I want my fair share before they spend it all before I get emphysema. Bastards are also making it so hard to smoke around here that Mr. and I have decided to quit. If we succeed? Yeah, we'll talk about that later. ;)
and have you read some of the things written on packages..like 'remove the wrapping from the cookies before eating'...just how damn stupid are we as a people any how?
I hear ya! A couple of the medicines that I've seen advertised have enough side effects that I'm thinking, "I believe I'll just cope with the disease."
Robin, you know you may have a marketing edge here. You could sell these disclaimers for people to put on their blogs.
I have one on my property that warns people that I have horses and to keep their hands to themselves. I remember a local riding by a neighbor's property to let the horse she was riding along the road see the horses inside a fence. The fenced horse reached over and bit her. She sued because that horse shouldn't have bit her. Can you say "trespassing"?
Robin,
Do you have a disclaimer for your disclaimer? As hard as you tried, I don't think you covered it all. If other people use this, you might get sued because someone found a loophole that let someone else get sued.... ;-)
My name is Carrie James and i would like to show you my personal experience with Ambien.
I have taken for 30 days. I am 23 years old. First I took it to help me fall asleep. After a couple of days I noticed that it made me feel really good, so I would take it just to feel the high that it gave me. I would had no memory of what I did the night before. Every night I did really weird things like send out strange emails, take weird pictures, and I fear that I did things that I still don't know about. I would also hallucinate. I would just spend a lot of time staring at things watching them move, like the wall or notes on sheet music. I was way too distracted to go to bed. It made me tired, but I didn't want to go to bed. I stopped taking it because I don't want to get involved with something like that. I think about it all the time and I have cravings for it, but I just don't think I need anymore problems.
Side Effects :
Hallucinations, feeling of being high, and no memory of things I did the night before.
I hope this information will be useful to others,
Carrie James
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